Share
20th December 2016
12:18am GMT
I try to keep these recipes down to 7 ingredients and things that can be cooked in about 20-30 minutes max. Nobody wants to be doing more than that in the evening, and if you want a fancy dinner party and 100 ingredients that cost a fortune go and buy a cook book instead!
This is a whopper little recipe, you'll find the ingredients in a local Spar but it ends up looking like something from a high end restaurant! Boom, get stuck in...
They ingredients couldn't be much simpler. You could always swap out the beef with lamb as well for something a little different.
Start by peeling the cucumber. Loads of people don't like cucumber because of that skin but it tastes totally different without it!
Quarter the bastard up.
Now use a knife to remove the seeds. They're watery and they'd ruin the cous cous.
Dice the remaining firm part of the flesh up into little even squares.
Zest the lemons. Do this using a grater or even more obviously a zester if you know what that is!
Pop a small amount of water into a pot with the lemon zest and pop it onto the boil. About a large cup full or say half a pint.
Spread the cous cous out into a flat tray of some sort. This helps it 'cook' quicker and more evenly.
When the water comes to the boil whip it off and fuck it into the tray with the cous cous.
Use a fork to whip the cous cous up until it's light and fluffy. It won't take more that about a minute but make sure you do it evenly and don't be a lazy bastard. Make sure to get into all the corners.
Squeeze in the juice of the lemons and whip it up a little more.
Lash in the cucumber.
Crumble the feta cheese in.
Now grab a big handful of coriander and chop the shit out of it. I throw the stalks and all in because they have the most flavour and are usually soft enough to chop.
Lash that into the cous cous as well along with a little salt and pepper and fluff the whole thing up.
Next chop up the chilli with the seeds and all. Lash it onto the chopping board with the beef, and season the meat with salt and pepper.
Lash a good glug of oil into the meat and mix it all up.
Use your hands to shape the meat into little long shapes. I'm not sure if, like a burger or meatball, this shape has a name. Lets call it a 'turd'. Nice and appetising.
Lash the meat into a super hot pan. If you have a griddle pan that would be ideal. Really high heat is essential here. The hotter the better.
Slip the little turds over after about two minutes and cook them for the same on the other side.
Lash them straight onto the plate. Putting them in this shape helps you pile the cous cous on top and make it look all professional!
Lash the cous cous onto the meat and serve it up immediately. Hard to believe how easy that is and how good it looks right?
Whip this up for a couple of mates, the family or a partner and they'll literally think you've been off on a 12-week cooking course. It's so fucking easy to make yet the end results are off the charts good! For a bit of an extra bonus lash the meat on the BBQ in the summer. What a recipe! Go on, give it a lash!