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20th December 2016
12:18am GMT
I was in Thailand a couple of weeks and Aaron the little annoying fucker I was there with ate nothing but chicken cashew. There were millions of other amazing Thai dishes but he stuck to what he loved best and it served him well for 2 weeks. Back in shitty Ireland we decided to re-create it and see if it tasted the same here. It's a super simple little dish and although I had to leave out a few ingredients to keep things simple for the blog this tastes amazing and is a perfect January dish because it is not only healthy but also super cheap.
Right the ingredients are really fecking cheap and easy to find. You'd probably even find them in your local Spar and you'll have half of them knocking around already anyway.

Cooking rice pain in the hole right? Put a couple of cups into a decent sized pot.

The key is washing the starch off the rice. This means running it through cold water for a couple of minutes and swirling it around with your hand. Drain the water off.

Cover with fresh water and no matter how much rice you have put about a half inch more in than there is rice. Simples. Lash it on to the highest heat you have.

Start with the onion. Place it on the chopping board. If you can't manage this stop and go and get a burger instead.

Chop the fucker up into small even sized pieces.

Grab a good four cloves of garlic and peel it.

Chop the garlic as fine as you can. Because this cooks so fast you are going to be doing all the prep in advance.

Peel the red pepper away from the stalk leaving just the flesh.

Depending on how slow you are (and I'm guessing you are very slow!!!) your rice should be coming to a furious boil now. Give it one stir.

Turn the heat down as low as you possibly can.

After stirring place a plate or a lid on top of the rice with a tiny gap for the steam to escape. Do not stir it again and just leave it like that. Don't fucking touch it every 2 seconds.

Slice the pepper up into nice triangle shapes. Could be any shape you fancy really but triangles are a little easier than circles.

Lash the biggest frying pan or a wok onto the hottest heat possible. Fuck in a bit of normal oil. Don't use Olive oil as it burns at high temperatures

Grab your baby corn.

Chop it at an angle again so as it looks pretty and shit.

Grab a big bunch of coriander

Chop it up into as small pieces as you possibly can.

Your plate of stuff to cook should look something like this.

Grab out the chicken breasts.

Slice the bastards up as thin as you can. The thinner the better as they'll cook quicker.

Start the pan by lashing in the garlic, peppers and onions. This is where all the flavour will come from

Keep them moving over a high heat for about 2 minutes. The smells should be off the charts amazeballs

Fuck in the chicken

Keep it stirring. You want to seal all the goodness in and give it a bit of colour.

At this stage turn the rice off completely and pull the plate back a little. There should be some nice steam coming out and it will continue even though there is no heat on.

Fuck in the nuts

When the chicken has been cooking for about 2 minutes fuck in the corn and the herbs.

Lash in a good big fucking glug (technical term) of soy sauce

Another big glug of Oyster sauce.

Stir the whole thing together until you have a nice sauce and the chicken is cooked. If it is too thick add a little water to thin.

Stir up the rice and serve it up. It should be lovely and fluffy unless you have somehow managed to make a balls of these simple instructions.

Lash the chicken cashew up on top and you are ready to eat. Ready in less than 20 minutes and perfect for a weekday night.