An Garda Síochána have taken to Facebook to offer some helpful advice to those GAA fans who'll be heading in their hordes to Croke Park this weekend to watch Mayo take on Dublin in the replay of the All-Ireland football final. However, unlike their usual posts – which are written in fairly straightforward English, in regular prose, and usually at least 95% legible – their latest is poetic, to say the least. Confused? You're not alone – but don't worry, we've done the hard work of translating An Garda Síochána's message so that you don't have to read it over and over (and over) again.

Don't drive to Croke Park

Eh, yeah: that's basically it. Don't drive. Get a Luas (or, er, a snake? We really can't see that catching on). And if you do drive, you may get a ticket – either for parking in the wrong place, or for speeding. (Don't speed.) Also: there's no access to Jones Road from Clonliffe and North Circular Roads. You're welcome. READ NEXT: Here's More Proof That The Gardaí Are The Soundest Police Force In The World