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4th August 2018
04:30pm BST
If like myself, you can't handle much drink on a night out, chances are you've been classed forever as a complete and utter lightweight.
While your friends can knock back drink after drink, just two pints gets you locked and you usually end up drunk waaaay before everyone else.
Which can be quite awkward...
Here are the 11 signs and struggles that you are, I'm afraid, a complete lightweight.
There's nothing worse than when someone mentions the idea of 'pre drinks' before a big night out.
While everyone rejoices about the news that they'll save a bit of money, you are left dreading it. There is no way you are going to survive pre drinking and a night out.
You usually go along but try to pace yourself with drink so you can last the night and not have to go home early.
Sometimes you get drunk before you've even made it to town. Oops.
While your friends are on their fourth pint, you made the horrible mistake of trying to keep up with them and now, you're hammered.
It's always a bad idea to try keep up and to try not feel left out. You want to show them that you can actually drink.
But everytime you do, you wind up super drunk and have to go home early in a taxi.
The sheer embarrassment.
It's all fine drinking in a bar or club, but all the drink you've consumed throughout the night really doesn't hit you until you step outside.
Once you're out in the fresh air, it knocks you for six.
Your vision is all over the place and you link onto your friend for dear life.
So you have your first big office party coming up and you want to make a good first impression... You think you can handle your drink but you really can't. Who are you trying to fool?
After a cocktail or two, you end up waffling the ear off someone in the office and you call them your 'new best friend'.
You'll whip out some killer dance moves that are really from another era and not as 'slick' as you think.
You end up being the talk of the office on Monday. Scarlah.
I really don't know how this happens, but it does. You might only be starting your first drink but about a third of the way through it, you can already feel the buzz.
Everyone thinks it's great and slag you off.
'You're going to save so much money' they say, which you do but it's not always fun being a complete lightweight.
At this rate, you won't last past 10pm.
Having a full tummy is essential when you're a lightweight. There has been many-a-time when you didn't get to eat much and end up getting locked after a drink or two.
If you want to survive most of the night, you need to eat a good meal before you decide to drink.
Sometimes you stop in Burger King mid drinking for a sneaky burger to help sober you up a little. You don't want to spend your night getting sick in the toilet because you didn't eat.
It's a big mistake.
Spirits are usually your enemy when you're a lightweight.
It is probably best to stick to a few beers at a slow pace.
When your friends suggest that everyone does a shot, you really shouldn't. When you have a shot you think at first that you survived it.
It's only five minutes later that you start to feel the effects and it's a sign that the night is taking a turn.
Oh no...
Being a lightweight and mixing your drinks is a big mistake. Trust me.
You may fancy switching to cocktails after a pint or two which make you really full.
But, you probably shouldn't. The night never ends well. Ever.
Being a lightweight you usually end up getting the drunkest quickest.
And that results in everyone taking the piss out of you on a night out. You wind up doing stuff you wouldn't normally do sober, you're the clown of the group.
Getting drunk a lot quicker than everyone else, results in your hangover creeping in a lot sooner than you would have first hoped for.
Sigh.
Sometimes once you're home after a big night out you can already feel the headache starting. Come morning time, you're in a heap and can't move.
No one else can go out for a night on the town and spend under €30 and that's including food, drinks and a taxi home.
While you cannot handle much drink, you get merry very quickly and have a decent night out without breaking the bank.
Yes, being a lightweight has its advantages!
Respect to all those fellow lightweights out there who solider through to survive nights out. You all are heroes.
If you, or anyone you know is a lightweight, make sure to tag them below!
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