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20th December 2016
12:18am GMT
Love comes in many forms, and not everybody wants chocolates, mundane jewellery, silly vouchers or overly expensive bunches of red roses on the big, sexy V-Day. For those of you out of touch, I'm talking about St.Valentine's Day. Yes, the day us singletons absolutely despise with a passion. It's the overly commercialised day that's so disgusting to anyone who isn't getting any. I mean, who's responsible for twisting the minds of other humans and making them believe they only have one day to prove their ever-lasting love for the reserved names in their lives? Fuck you Hallmark.
Anyway, less about how I feel and more about how I can help you helpless love birds to woo your better geeky half to ensure you get sexual and emotional success next week. Here are 14 (see what I did there?) epic Valentine's gifts:
Forget real flowers and give something everlasting, like these adorable wee kitties. (BUY)
They say Italians are great charmers so why not give this Mario Bros inspired rose to your crotch lover. (BUY)
What better way to show off your undying love for one another in public than a matching pair of these chopsticks? (BUY)
Nothing says "I love you" more than not expecting your other half to constantly clean up after your mess. I've known of people getting physically hurt after buying vacuums as presents but this iRobot Roomba does all the hard work for you. (BUY)
Totally nerd out together with matching, bad-ass, super-cutesies Breaking Bad mugs. (BUY)
Win at presents forever with this handmade clock made from hard drive parts from Etsy. They've actually a whole range of recycled clocks. (BUY)
What better way to win someone over than this whopper card- "Set Phaser to Stunning". (BUY)
Indulge in a little sexy superheroine cosplay with these caped rompers. (BUY)
Your home wouldn't be complete without this amazing little print. (BUY)
Nothing says "I love when you work remotely" more than this epic device. It means your loved one never has to get out of the love cradle ever again. (BUY)
Give a piece of the prehistoric world to your soulmate. This ancient fossil is approximately 65 million years old and comes from the Cretacepis age of South Dakota. (BUY)
Bring your love right back to the 90's with an old school Nintendo console. (BUY)
Chances are your geeky other half probably touches their keyboard more than you, so why not treat them to this stunning gold keyboard button? (BUY)
Be the envy of your friends and buy matching hoodies. Choose from Command Yellow, Sciences Blue, or Engineering Red. (BUY)
