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11th September 2018
12:01pm BST
Being Irish in another country has its ups and its downs.
Once people hear the accent, they'll be straight up to you to tell you that their "great, great.... GREAT-granny was from Tourmakeady in Mayo" and sure amn't I just as Irish as yourself.
No, you're absolutely not.
They exploit our dialect, asking us to say words like 'three', 'potato' and 'guinness' over and over again.
And the main one, the pièce de résistance - 'oh, you're from Ireland, you must be able to put away some amount of pints'.
Look, the short answer might be yes but we are so much more than that.
However, when it comes to a professional aspect, using the hypothesis that an Irishman suffered rib fractures because "he was probably drunk and fell" is not on.
That's what happened in this hospital outside of Ireland where Ro. is a medical student.
Morning ward round, looking at an X-ray of patient w/ some rib fractures, the consultant (1) speculates "oh he's Irish, he prob got drunk and fell down the stairs". Banter exchanged between him and consultant 2 on the theme. SHO returns, confirms patient is lifelong teetotaller.
— ro. (@keep_sketch) September 10, 2018
"Morning ward round, looking at an X-ray of patient w/ some rib fractures, the consultant (1) speculates "oh he's Irish, he prob got drunk and fell down the stairs". Banter exchanged between him and consultant 2 on the theme. SHO returns, confirms patient is lifelong teetotaller."
"Consultant 2: oh I guess he must've gotten it in a fight? (more banter). Up to this point I have been utterly silent, nodding away sincerely. Innocently, as if butter wouldn't melt in my mouth, I pipe up: 'an you show me where the fracture line is cos I can't really spot it?'
"Consultant 2 clocks my accent. FACE CRACK OF THE CENTURY ENSUES.
"'Oh..you're...Irish, are you?'
"'Yes' I answer, pleasantly, but with an eyebrow raised and a faintly dangerous glint in my eye.
"'Oh...I've always felt an affinity with the Irish, I was born on St Patrick's Day'
"I nod, an inscrutably neutral (I hope) expression painted onto my face. (Inside, I think: so you believe that gives license to make racist jokes in front of a group of medical students? But of course, I say nothing.
"Consultants 1 and 2 redden, exchange knowing glances.
"I am wearily used to this kind of banter. With colleagues, I can at least mercilessly squash such #bantz by dragging them to within an inch of their lives. Sadly, it’s a bit harder to do that up the medical hierarchy."
Fair play to Ro for having the bottle to speak up about it.
