Share
24th December 2016
09:12am GMT
When you’re a kid, you’re pretty happy to take Christmas songs at face value. After all, they’re not supposed to mean anything, they’re just supposed to get you in a festive mood.
But after you’ve listened to these songs every year, you realise that some Christmas songs are really weird. Like...
HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU’RE SLEEPING, HE KNOWS WHEN YOU’RE AWAKE
Dude, how many times does she have to say no for you to get the point?
‘We want some figgy pudding so bring some out here?’ Feck off carollers
All told the requests, including a yacht and the deed to a platinum mine, add up to millions.
The snowman comes to life, only to melt away when the weather changes. Is there a more horrible death?
“When the snowman brings the snow”? Pretty sure it’s the other way around guys.
“Mary Bradley waits at home in the nuclear fall-out zone”
Africa is majority Christian, so yeah they do know it’s Christmas. And it's even worse that they redid the song 30 years later when they knew better.
“And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again”
Seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree? They’re basically all birds.
Plus then you have all these strangers gathering outside your house. The only good present is the five gold rings.